A Little Self Love Goes a Long Way

By Georgianna Reilly, LMSW
SJS Staff Writer

Some not-so surprising research points to the importance of choosing Self-Compassion over Self-Criticism, and refocussing our attention away from competition with others, in this article posted in Psychology Today:

“Where self-criticism leaves us powerless and distraught, self-compassion is at the root of empowerment, learning, and inner strength. With self-compassion, we value yourself not because we’ve judged ourselves positively and others negatively but because we are intrinsically deserving of care and concern just like everyone else. Self-compassion means treating ourselves as we would a friend. Rather than berating, judging, or adding to a friend’s despair, we listen with empathy and understanding, encourage them to remember that mistakes are normal, and validate their emotions without adding fuel to the fire. Neff defines self-compassion as “being kind and understanding toward oneself in instances of pain or failure rather than being harshly self-critical; perceiving one’s experiences as part of the larger human experience rather than seeing them as isolating; and holding painful thoughts and feelings in mindful awareness rather than over-identifying with them.”

Sounds incredibly social-worky right? RIGHT! Compassion and empowerment are the keys to our profession, but why do we often so easily neglect to respect ourselves in the same way we do our clients? Just like them we are human, and it’s all to easy to compare yourself to others and criticize yourself as a result. Research however points to the many benefits that can be reaped as a result of remembering to provide ourselves with self compassion. They include:

1.  Decrease in stress and anxiety.

2.  Enhanced well-being.

3.  Increasing our ability to take responsibility and toughen up in light of our own faults.

4. Strengthened ability to rebound after a failure.

5. Improved productivity.

6. Better able to maintain positive moods and outlook.

These are just some of the many benefits research has seen, or suggests, could be the result of self-compassion. As the author discusses, more research is needed into the exact physiological means that such benefits spring from but this is indeed a positive start to providing evidence for what us social workers already know. A little self love can indeed go a long way.