by Victoria Brewster, MSW – SJS Staff Writer
How were you educated at school whether undergraduate or graduate? Was it a ‘just the facts’ orientation or an empathic, client-centered model?
Is there room for both? Sometimes we have to be stoic, impassive helping professionals, but I would like to think most of the time we are empathic, compassionate and ‘in the moment’ with our clients.
We must adapt to the situation, to the client and be ‘in the moment’ for a particular situation. If we are not adaptive, what kind of helping professional are we? Adaption, attention, being attuned to both the client and ourselves is important.
Even more important is being tuned into ourselves, our own internal dialogue, our feelings BEFORE meeting with a client and while meeting with a client. The ability to adapt and change, to make sure our own internal dialogue or feelings are kept in check is important.
There are times when we will have to ‘wear our feelings on our sleeves’ as the expression goes, otherwise we come across as inaccessible, flat, unapproachable and uncaring helping professionals.
As helping professionals it is important to evaluate yourself and improve in areas that are noted as needing improvement. That is what a performance evaluation is for. Also, if one facilitates groups to ask for feedback from the members both on content and your presentation. This is where we realize perhaps we speak to fast, too low, our facial expressions, tone of voice or body language do not match.
Being open to this feedback, a willingness to improve our skills and learn new techniques is so important.
Enjoy the professional journey and while doing so, relax and take a nice vacation to really give your professional journey the thought it deserves!
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Yes it is an art form and a science which is unique and challenging. The challenge is to keep remembering to learn and not get stuck thinking one has all the answers. I have had the pleasure of experiencing true masters at this profession. I have also seen quite a few duds. It takes years and a willingness to see yourself in all your strengths and weaknesses and in-betweens and remain willing to be vulnerable. I can remember thinking when do I arrive? Of course I was young and insecure, feeling I had to master this profession on a time table. This is such a unique thing we provide. I think that the normal struggle to truly learn this profession can be frustrating at times and always a challenge. If it becomes “too much” or feeling like a job it can have professionals looking for the one answer out there and then lose touch with themselves and their clients. It sometimes comes from being overwhelmed and it feels like it can protect us. I have noticed that whenever I tried to duplicate a cookbook technique I feel very awkward and false. I do better letting some of the concepts sink in and they can be available within my mode of relating. Whatever “technique” a therapist is using it pales in comparison to therapist themselves being a tool. I have always remembered what was said to me by the psychiatrist assigned to our team when I was in my field practice for graduate school. “One of the biggest mistakes a therapist can make is to underestimate the power of the relationship you have with a patient” It wasn’t meant in terms of being controlling but in terms of the meaning the client/patient puts onto us. From walking in to the office thinking we are experts to over time the comfort and importance that our just being there takes on. How do you explain what we do to someone uninitiated to this profession?
Thomas, thank you for sharing. I agree that as helping professionals it is more important to be in the moment with our clients and be authentic than to focus on what skill am I using or what technique? With experience comes the comfort level to do so. I would rather my clients experience my authentic or real self than a mask!
I have known many of my clients for 5, 8, 12 years and their comfort level with me is very important. I also have the pleasure and luxury in some sense of facilitating a weekly group and being a case manager for most of the group members and have the ability to offer short term ‘counseling’ or problem solving as needed. A long standing relationship is important.