End-of-Life issues are almost a taboo subject in our society. This should not be the case in reality. In the cycle of life, in order for one to be born, one must die. In this case, die with dignity and with the ability that you prepared yourself, and loved ones, as much as you could with Advance Care Planning. This is an opportunity to put in writing your wishes re: life saving measures, organ donation or not, instances where perhaps antibiotics or oxygen are allowed.
One does not want to leave this decision to family members who may not agree with one another. This is not the time for family to be fighting. Really it is about what the person who is dying would have wanted.
So, this means planning around what is often a very difficult topic. Think of it as ‘The Conversation.” You know, the one you have with your parents, older family members, seniors, clients and patients. First, as a professional you need to be comfortable with this topic and many are not. The question becomes why? Again, it is reality.
“Death is a subject that is evaded, ignored and denied by our youth-worshipping society. Death is inevitable-we will all die someday, the question is when?” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
“Ask yourself as the professional or adult child, how much time and energy have you put into examining your own feelings, beliefs, hopes and fears about the end of your life? Whatever the things are that would make your life more personally meaningful before you die-do them now.” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
There are many resources out there on this issue: www.nicenet.ca, www.cdc.gov/aging/advancecareplanning/care-planning-course-htm ,http://www.endoflifeblog.com/, http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2012/09/glimpse-dying-literary-authors.html
Palliative, Death and Dying, Advance Care Planning, writing wills and mandates, anything by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross or Kay Redfield Jamison.
Have the conversation with your clients and family members..
I will end with a poem that I think sums it all up:
Grant that I may not
So much seek to be justified,
as to console;
to be obeyed,
as to understand;
to be honored,
as to love….
For it is in giving of ourselves
that we heal,
it is in listening
that we comfort,
and in dying
that we are born to eternal life. – St. Francis
Victoria Brewster, MSW
American attitudes toward death are extremely closed and fearful. Discussion’s of this issue will certainly help us find some comfort with death.
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One among many taboo topics in America! And an important topic
Thank you Michelle. As a professional who works with seniors I find this is becoming a huge topic/issue. I have been with many of my clients for 12 years and they have aged, their health is declining, they are becoming more frail, they need to start thinking of the ‘what if.’ Not a pleasant topic, but an important topic.
Adding some comments that were sent to me personally that resonate with this topic:
“Hi Victoria, thanks for writing. As a person with a huge interest in both writing and grief, I’m stunned that there has been such little uptake on this really useful discussion that you started.
I have a poetry thread going in TED: Ideas Worth Spreading and it has been amazing after a very slow start. Over a year later, there are regular postings of published works that touch people and we are up around 7,500 posts at this stage from all round the world. It seems that poetry works really well for some and just doesn’t click with others.
I hope this takes off here – however slowly!”
Best wishes from Ireland,
Jean
Here is a link to a discussion on LinkedIn that share stories and poems re: death, dying and the grieving process:
http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Perhaps-as-professionals-we-can-1040167.S.172739774?qid=d9f0684a-c4d1-4e22-a868-5faff16a397b&trk=group_most_recent_rich-0-b-ttl&goback=%2Egmr_1040167