To Dream Or Not To Dream: How We Might Be Hurting Ourselves

I just read a piece done by one of my all-time favorite author, Augusten Burroughs. Known for his messed up childhood, turned best selling novels, Augusten never pulls punches and his latest book and talks are demonstrating what to do to get through. His article deals specifically with dreams, knowing when to hold on through the odds and when to give up for a more realistic path. It is a topic that holds some interest for me. I’m known within my circle of friends as being a moderate in the term of idealist vs realist. It’s a tricky spot, I can see unrealistic hopes and wishful thinking a mile away and yet there are times when I cannot fully give up my hope for something that I don’t even know for sure exists.

Goals and dreams are separate creatures. Dreams are what we can hold onto despite all odds, a necessary thing at times. The problem is that dreams can also hold us back if we get too absorbed in them. A great way to determine this is to look at the motivation behind the dream. Burroughs talks about the common dream of being a rock star despite a lack of real talent. Part of it could be disillusion, but the other could be a lack of awareness to the real want. Most people who dream of an idol like career aren’t doing it for the music, it is for fame, riches, travel. So is that really the dream? Are they holding themselves back from real opportunities for this?

I’m far from proposing running around popping every dream someone has. Dreams keep us going, they give us something to look forward to, to hope for, all of which are remarkably important things. But they also take away the beauty in the average, the everyday, the so-called unremarkable. How can anyone be content in a relationship if their dream is for the Disney version of a true love? How can we be happy in a job that isn’t always perfect becaue we imagine ourselves fulfilling some pop culture/Kim Khardashian crap that really doesn’t matter?

Not all dreams are negative, some fuel us to keep going. I have long dealt with a dream to matter to the world, never truly being content with the reaching one life at a time of a micro-level worker. We all have touches of this, of leaving something that changes the world and to be remembered. In reality what is the best we can hope for? A few hundred years? A thousand? Despite this knowledge that even moderate levels of importance would ony grant me a certain period of time it still pushes me to do more than what I consider to be average. It makes meant to leave a bigger impact than I see myself accomplishing.

I regress, or rant, I’m not sure which. When are dreams helpful and when to they hurt us? Who, if anyone should tell the girl wasting away on an unattainable dream to move on? How to you deal with people who are at either end of this spectrum? What dreams did you have that you’ve given up or held onto?