Lately, I’ve been processing troubling thoughts on the growth of misogyny in this country and many parts of the world. What does it mean for children growing up in such a society and what is the impact on the future of human relations and the rights of women? How is this happening, why now, and why are we not addressing it openly and definitively?
Girls are growing up in world that prizes physical attractiveness above all else and belittles female achievement in everything from sports to business, to political and religious engagement. Females are largely and routinely defined by their looks and body parts, and as a society we have gone to great lengths and expense to meet some largely unrealistic ideal of beauty as evidenced by the explosion of cosmetic and augmentation surgery at younger and younger ages. Granted, this isn’t only a gender issue, but it affects women and girls at exponentially greater rates than men or boys. We are a society that is said to prize youth and beauty, but do we value it? Do we offer it a unique voice or equal protection under the law? Or does such gendered commodification reduce the voice of all women?
Comprising 51% of American society, women hold only 16% or so of the leadership positions in business and government. How is this possible when women have been a necessary part of the work force for well over half a century and a necessary part of the world since the beginning of time? In 2010 only 2.4% of the U.S. Fortune 500 chief executives were female. In the FTSE 500 the statistics are even worse–only 1.8% of its companies are led by women. In world rankings of women in government, The United States scores a deplorable 79 out of a listing of 139 countries, having 16.9% representation in the house of representative, and 17.0% in the senate. For a government of the people, by the people, and for the people, it is apparent not all of the people are equally represented or protected under the law.
Have women’s rights advanced? Yes, to a degree. We can now vote and own property in most of the world. But has it been three steps forward and two steps back? Women’s rights are being eroded openly and publicly yet that fact is disguised and deflected by arguments which compare apples to oranges. How many of us are aware that rapists have the same rights and privileges under the law as other fathers in most states in our nation? Even when the rape victim is a 14 year old girl! How many of us know that children are not legally able to consent to sex, but across this nation get placed in foster care and are incarcerated as juvenile delinquents, often as young as 11, when arrested for prostitution? Though in several states their legal status has come to be redefined to the that of victim of human trafficking, thanks to rights worker’s efforts, funding has not provided the necessary services and supports to ensure the proper care of these young victims making this a hollow victory for children’s rights and in the fight against human trafficking by providing no real aid, only lip service and paper protection. 90-95% of sex trade and human trafficking victims are female, half of whom are under the legal age of 18. Does the general public know or acknowledge that violent, openly misogynistic pornography is readily available and easily accessible to the average 11 year old with computer access? Or that cartoons, and reality programming use misogynistic depictions and language supportive of an already growing “rape culture” in this country?
As noted in a previous post, rape is reported to be on the rise throughout the world, the easily understood concept of rape has been perverted through semantics making some ideas of rape more “legitimate” than others, and in several states, in an alarming and seemingly little contested trend, women are forced to endure vaginal ultrasounds before abortions regardless of the conditions of pregnancy.
Silence is equivalent to acceptance and assent. We have all heard the phrase for evil to triumph, all is required is for good men to do nothing. What are our good men, and our good women doing?
I am not a particularly religious person, though I do observe the major holidays of my heritage. I think most traditional expectations of formal religions tend to be indoctrination into norms and values handed down through generations of men imposing what is in their best interests over the rights of women and these norms and expectations are perpetuated through what these institutions teach children. Women are not given equal standing in any formal religious tradition that I am aware of though they are equally capable and equipped. Women have continued to be placed in subservient positions by the men that lead these organizations and the myth that such a hierarchy is the natural order of things based on a higher power or purpose simply serves to justify men’s rights to make rules that govern women and keep them at a disadvantaged position in every manner from world affairs to family hierarchies more often than not. Our nation’s religious roots run deeply, and have much greater power than our founding fathers ever intended.
From a strict anthropological or sociological perspective I am not sure if a straight definition of sexual equality is entirely possible, but gender equality certainly should be in an advanced civil society. Women are equally educated, and have equal expectations regarding being productive wage earners, yet laws are enacted that hobble women and limit their ability to benefit as fully from, or participate as fully in our society as men.
I worry about what it means for boys as well; boys exposed early and repeatedly to a “double standard” and a “rape culture” and socialized in societies that favor the rights of males above the rights of females. In my home, and my circle, I teach equality and tell those I love that they can achieve anything if they work at it and believe in themselves. But is that true? Can they really believe in the absoluteness of their human rights and potential when society’s message tells them their accomplishments mean less than their physical attributes, or their gender dictates what they can and should aspire to?
At this point in time equality is an illusion. Our hierarchical society is far from promoting genuine equality in many ways. Equal pay for equal work is an illusion. Non-discriminatory hiring practices are an illusion. Discrimination is real. Sexism is real. The glass ceiling is real. The growth of openly accepted misogynistic messages in our culture in everything from music, to television programming to talk show hosts public statements, and elected officials gender-biased views on the legitimacy of rape, contraception, pregnancy and abortion is too real and colors the world of those growing up in it.
Is this the legacy we want to leave this and future generations? Those of us with daughters, how should we respond and prepare our girls for the possibility that they may, statistically, be sexually abused or raped at some point in their lives as 1 in 5 women are? And those of with sons, how do we impart the message to value women as equals when the culture they live in teaches them a very different message through a variety of avenues? I hope what I say makes a difference in the lives of those I love, but my bigger hope is that starting a hard and uncomfortable dialog can begin to change a mindset that does not equally support, value, or respect half of the world’s population.
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Bravo Michelle, and thank you for this well written expose. The questions you raise have long bothered and frustrated me and for the most part, I have felt helpless to address this vitally important issue.
As you so aptly pointed out, our culture objectifies women which in and of itself, devalues women as a whole and minimizes the worth of women as individuals. Women and girls are then seen not as equals who can and do contribute to our society, but as an ‘object’ to be owned and controlled. Sadly, young girls grow up in a society that objectifies them and so they grow up lacking the self-respect and dignity that all humans deserve. Girls are ‘conditioned’ to expect less and accept less than they are entitled to.
Within our homes and communities, women and girls are battered, stalked, kidnapped, raped and murdered at numbers far, far greater than men and, men are far, far more often the perpetrators compared to women. Most sources put the incidence of domestic violence against women at 1 in 4. In other words, 1 in 4 women will be abused at some point in her lifetime.
The tragic truth of the situation is, that the oppression of women and girls is far worse than the average person realizes. Misogyny permeates every sector of our society, from our homes to the upper echelon of business as well as our government. The recent PBS special “Women Hold Up Half The Sky” (www.pbs.org/halfthesky) reported that more women and girls have been “oppressed to death” than the total number of all deaths in all wars combined. A staggering statistic….
The statistics that you presented on women in leadership roles in business and government speak for themselves. In government, we should not stop with state and federal offices in our observations. These statistics are mirrored In county and municipal governments as well. Beyond even that, the general population is largely unaware of the travesties occurring in our family courts. More and more abusive husbands and fathers are winning custody of children in divorce because when the woman reports abuse, nationwide the courts have adopted a policy of ‘assuming’ she is lying. Therefore, protective mothers are not only losing ground in business and government, but even her role as mother is at risk. Family court personnel are not educated in the facts that abusive husbands and fathers are 50% more likely to fight for custody because it is yet another means of continuing the abuse of his partner. In addition, these batterers are winning custody 70% of the time because judges and magistrates are trained not to believe abuse allegations.
Due to the long standing rationale that men are the ‘bread winners’, men traditionally earn more than women, with women earning only 72% of mens’ wages. However, single parent households with mothers being the single parent continue to rise because more and more women today are choosing not to marry. This differential in wages is highly significant in both the short and long term and is the etiology for the rising numbers of women and children living in poverty. And poverty as we know, places these women and children in highly vulnerable positions.
“We are a society that is said to prize youth and beauty, but do we value it? Do we offer it a unique voice or equal protection under the law?”
Your questions are timely, relevant and poignant and are deserving of serious contemplation. The magnitude of the oppression of women still today is appalling and should be unacceptable in our society. In the words of Edmond Burke – “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
And in the words of Winston Churchill – “The truth is incontrovertible; malice may attack it and ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.”
Thank you, Brenda, for your kind words, and the addtional information. Half the Sky was amazing!
The DV piece is too little understood, and institutionlly supported to a degee, as is the too often harsh judicial view of women, and of single mothers, especially for women of color.
Too few realize the degree of misogyny in our society. Little comment’s, “jokes†about rape, that businesses EXPECT women to accept money less in raises and plan budgets around this belief, it goes on and on.
I love your quote, and know that eventually the truth must be seen and acknowledged.
Unfortunately, Westernized society supports/encourages the beauty, youth and sexuality of girls and women-this is sad. Girls and women are overall extrememly lucky and blessed to have been born in the U.S. or Canada and lead relatively normal lives where they are accepted for their brains besides their possible beauty.
At the same time, Westernized culture/society still embraces youth and beauty on the oustisde. What I like about Eastern culture is the embracing of beauty on the inside.
Women in power takes a certain type of woman who is willing to have children and let someone else basically raise them whether it is her husband, other family members or a nanny.
It is tough to balance work life, family life, personal time and couple time. Those who are fortunate to work part-time (I mean women here) are blessed as this allows for all previously discussed.